Updated: November 16, 2023
Everyone hates to focus on the bad stuff, but let’s face it how can you improve if you don’t know what to improve upon? So, let’s get to it! What does your astrology sign unpleasantly say about you?
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Your ruling planet is Mars, the God of War. This sums up your personality quite well, don’t you think. Always ready for a battle, you rams never back down. Well, that’s because you are always right … at least in your mind.
Advice: Temper, temper, Aries. Loosing your cool when things don’t go your way does nothing to boost your popularity. Try yoga.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
One word describes Taurus to a tee: stubborn. Getting you to change your mind is like closing a revolving door-impossible.
Advice: I understand that you never say “die,” but sometimes you may want to admit critical injury. Pick and choose your battles.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You are an Air sign, Gemini, and to say you are flighty would be an understatement. If life were a kitchen, you would have a hand in preparing every dinner. But, when it comes to suppertime, no meals would actually be ready.
Advice: Focus, Gemini, focus. Sigh …You’re not even reading this any more, are you?
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
With mood swings off the charts, Cancers make great homebodies and told-you-sos. Oh, and lunatics-after all you are ruled by the moon.
Advice: Drop the martyrdom vibe. Get out of your shell and have a good time more often.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
If asked to name five words to describe herself, a Leo couldn’t just stop at just five. You see, Leos are to modesty as goldfish are to blueberries. Meaning, Leos and modesty have nothing to do with each other.
Advice: Just because the lion is your symbol does not mean you can be King of the Jungle all of the time. Share the limelight.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Mr. Clean has nothing on you, Virgo. Everything in your life must be neat, tidy and completed to perfection. After all, it’s all about you.
Advice: Would it kill you to compliment a friend? I know it’s tough. Just make something up.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Shopping, sleeping, looking good … vanity thy name is Libra. And don’t even think about asking a Libra to make a decision. They fence-sit like it’s their job.
Advice: Not all mirrors are there to reflect. Some are actually there for show. Try to walk past one without looking, Libra.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
I’m a bit nervous to say anything negative about you, Scorpio. You may plot horrifying revenge. So, I’ll just say Scorpios are kind of scary.
Advice: Honestly, Scorpio. Your intensity is burning a whole through my soul. No, that’s not a good thing.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Open mouth, insert foot … again and again and again … Take a Sagittarius to a formal event and she’ll embarrass you every time. But, take one to a kegger, and she’ll be the first with the lampshade.
Advice: I know, leaping without looking is exciting, but try not to be so impulsive, Sagittarius.
Capricorn (December-22 January 19)
Contrary to Capricorn belief, there is more to life than money. And, although Capricorns may find this hard to accept, too, weekends are for leaving the house, not staying home to count one’s money.
Advice: Pessimism doesn’t look good on anybody. Lighten up, Capricorn.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
The mad scientists of astrology, most people see Aquarians as just plain weirdos. And Aquarians like that.
Advice: Always the loner, try to branch out and sail in new seas.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Just like their watery cousins (mermaids and the Lock Ness monster) Pisces people live in a fairytale world; in a state of confusion.